While lying in bed, supposedly sleeping:
Monkey: Mama, what should we dream about tonight?
Me: Ahhh, ummm…what about the ocean, and the beach, the birds, trees, drinks…
Monkey: …and garbage trucks and tractors and cars…
Me: Uhh, yea, sure, ok.
Monkey: What else?
Me: Well, nice music, a gentle breeze…
Monkey: …and dinosaurs, and I think I will be a cat.
Me: Uh, OK.
Monkey: Meaawooow. Do you hear that?
Monkey: Ask me what I’m saying.
Me: What are you saying Cat?
Monkey: I love you.
Monkey: I’m gonna shave my tongue.
Me: Lord, help me.